just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
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