I must be too annoying 4 u.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
