At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Is it penis luge time yet?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
