youre lurking in front of me
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize