Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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