Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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