I'm laying in your front yard are you home
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.