Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?