hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
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Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
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They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?