Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"