Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize