walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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