Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
