OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
