so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
