wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I just googled if crying burns calories
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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