Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
