oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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