I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
we're so committed to being not committed
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
