AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
