I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
