At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
