hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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