Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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