I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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