Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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