I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
