check it out our google latitudes are spooning
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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