3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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