i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
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Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We're too hungover to prance.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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