There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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