I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Damn victory sex feels great
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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