to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Randomize