so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
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