if you like me you must not know who I am
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
