If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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