There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I think my vagina is haunted
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
