i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
