I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
