I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook's as public as her vagina
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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