I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
