I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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