Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
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