It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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