how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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