Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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