I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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