She is in my trunk
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
