worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
