tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
