I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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