i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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