you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
