it hurts more in the daytime
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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