hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
