return my video game
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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