She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
