If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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