I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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