I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
