So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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