lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
