Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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