I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
